In the news last week was an accident that happened here in Chicago where a Black man was hit by a car and killed. The news says he was able to survive Iraq for nine months, but unable to survive walking across a busy street. It was like ordinary news until I heard the name, Howard____ from Evanston, IL. I was stunned because I recognized the name. I was introduced to him years ago by a dear friend. The shock came when I saw that he was engaged and she is white. Now don’t get me wrong, interracial couples don’t bother me at all, I don’t care who you love. I say follow your heart. It’s the conversation that I had with that “dear friend” who’s a Black man that’s married to a white woman, about Howard. I said aloud, “what’s up with you Black Evanston men”? I asked my “friend” what was Howard doing on the south side. To my disbelief, he was with his mistress! She wanted something to eat and as he crossed the intersection and driver hit him and ran.
Now my friend was offended when I said it’s OK for him to screw a Black woman, but better to marry a White one. He retaliated with White women have different standards than Black women do. They have better morals, opportunities and they support their men when they are in a struggle. My tone raises two octaves—”how dare you offend me! I thought it was about love and not trying to find a woman to dig you out of the hole you’re in…You da man right?!” I asked how could he be so insulting because he knows that all Black women aren’t uneducated, unsupportive and we all don’t live in ghetto-dwellings, and most of all what makes him believe that they have better morals. He’s said he always knew that if he got married, he wanted to marry better. He wanted his kids to grow up in a diverse neighborhood, in good schools, with opportunuities that would allow them to know the best. He didn’t want them to grow up broke and afaid to walk outside. I’m like, so your telling me that to marry White, and have kids by a White woman makes you and them better? I added, why can’t you find all of that in a Black woman? He said, “I can’t help who I chose to marry”. Not that he couldn’t help whom he chose to fall IN LOVE with, but whom to marry! I was too through. Mind you, he’s dated outside of his race forever. Growing up in a diverse neighborhood, he gives the reason why he thinks that he’s the way he is…his environment. How about Willie Lynch!
The nature vs. nurture controversy has been debated for years and to have him tell me that I was wrong in saying that I don’t beleive that everyone is a product of their environmet was deemed ignorant. He believes that where you grow up and what you see is definitely a reason to cause people to choose who they want to be around, where they want to live and whom they’ll want to marry.
Your thought?
